Search of happiness...

My efforts to settle down here is a never ending wheel of shock, turmoil, depression, confusion and pain. My need to find a balance which works for me seems impossible.
I'm feeling desperate now, why can't I just except, say alhamdulilah and move on, however could the grass be greener on the other side? could there be a better life for me?
Again, its this want and need that's ruling my life.

I know I have too wake up and smell the coffee, I need a couple of good slaps on the face and someone to tell me to except the great things that god has given me, but to people I look happy, my life looks great and nothings wrong.

I wish that content feeling I had two days ago comes back, its such a weight off my shoulders. Whenever I'm feeling the way I feel today I try to remember those good days but all I seem to come up with is negative thoughts.

Things I'm grateful for:

• My Husband - who's easy going and lets me be who I want to be.
• My children - every day is an exciting step up to their world - my heart skips a beat every time they do something new.
• My parents, their unconditional love for us - and the sacrifices they made for us.
• My brothers and sisters- who are always there.
• My religion - keeps me alive.
• My Job - Gets me out of the house.

Alhamdulilah yarab.

I feel better now, thank you for listening.