Sunday 12 October 2008

Just for laughs

This is one of those things you get in your e-mail inbox, thought I'd share this.
TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS : Maria!
__________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, 'School Ahead, Go Slow.'
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L'
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE : All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.'
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?'
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!;
__________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : ( A teacher )

5 comments:

on the edge said...

Needed that Laugh !!! Once a teacher told my daughter and her class that ... there was no laughing allowed in class ! Absolutely no happiness allowed at ALL!

Anglo-Libyan said...

lol many of them are very very funny, I like those 2 best:

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!

TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

Oreste said...

Hello, a salute from Rome, ciao

on the edge said...

I have tagged you on my blog . Here is your question .....

Caught In The Middle ........ Please share with us the thing you love most about living here . The Libyan thing that gives you greatest pleasure .

Anonymous said...

According to the Transactional Analysis theory, any humanbeing is in need of what is called a stroke of familiraity, like food to stomach, strokes feed thenerves system, lack of strokes will cause the nerves system to shrivel, some times i do feel the shrivel while in Libya.
Read the book (Games People PLay), by Eric Berne it is boring but it is worth the time.