Thursday, 24 July 2008

avoiding confrontation

I’ve been off work for a week and the net at home hasn’t worked for months, so I haven’t had the opportunity to actually sit down, collect my thoughts and feelings and put them down on paper (or screen). I find that sitting down and thinking about what I want to write and how to convey how I feel in words helps a great deal.

The wedding, after deciding to be the dutiful wife I got dressed, donned my best outfit (being mithajba that cancels out a lot of wedding outfits) and got myself ready for the wedding of the year. We got to the party at about 09:30, the whole time my sister in-law and her mother moaned about how bored they where and how they wanted to go home, I was starting to enjoy myself, saw people I hadn’t seen for years, then the horror as they got up and decided to leave, my husband included, at 11:30...

"2 F****** HOURS, YOU CANCEL MY TRIP TO ATTEND A WEDDING FOR 2 F****** HOURS!!!"

(That’s what I wanted to scream out, what actually happened was me getting up, saying my goodbyes and leave with the rest of the gang like a good little wife, all smiles and angel like… huh...

6 comments:

libyan woman said...

hi dear
be patient sister,we r eastern females so we have 2 pretend that everything is ok....un-extinctable silly customs.

Anonymous said...

I feel for you! You are so good, I would not have been able to fake it. Inshallah next year you will be able to celebrate your birthday as you wish. Nice that you were able to see some friends. take care!

Rose Bud said...

That is the way it goes sometimes. Learn to insist or you will set a pattern to be walked all over all the time.

on the edge said...

As Rose bud said ... and my experience has taught me .....You got to stop being a door mat sometimes and let them know that you CAN"T be walked all over . I said sometimes you notice because as I am sure you know already , you have to pick your fights , but if you let your husband dictate to you all the time and you swallow your words too often , then your throat will close up and you will never be able to speak up 4 your self when it is important . This happens a lot in marriages all over the world not just here .Pick your battle and stand your ground !And Happy Belayed Birthday to you babycakes !

Anonymous said...

I have been married for 24 years to a Libyan. I would say that for the first 20 I have been pretty patient, but I have found that the older I get - I don't allow things to slide by that easy. I sincerely wish I had learned a bit earlier. Make yourself and you both as a couple a priority - if you don't, nobody else will.

Caught in the middle said...

Thank you all for your comments and words of encouragement, never thought of my self as a door mat..but now you mention it..